The Deep South, now without Country Music

There’s a common belief among people from the North (or above the Watford Gap), that all southerners are poncy pricks with a born belief they are better than the smoggy north. After 1 month (yes it has been that long), I am able to come up with a more appropriate and justifiable opinion. That being that most of the people you meet down South are people from the North who couldn’t find proper jobs back in the smog. It is therefore safer to wear a United shirt in Woking than it is a Chelsea shirt. Interesting, but what you gonna do?

Quite pathetically I’m actually enjoying the commute into work each morning. It’s long enough to be able to read a bit of a book ~19min and not long enough to make waking up too painful. Already I’ve read every book in my meagre collection so I’m planning a mass buy in the next few weeks down one of the charity shops. Gotta love a bit of Tom Clancy or John Grisham to semi-work the brain. Nothing too hard in the morning you’ll notice. It also gives me chance to listen to a new album almost every day. I’m glad I have a big enough collection to stop me getting bored too fast. I love the coldcut albums at the moment.

The job is going well you may be glad to hear. The work colleagues are all pretty safe and happy to keep a straight face as you ask the same question for the 300th time. Not surprisingly there is an absolutely huge amount to learn which could also be said for the different way of life I’m attempting to adapt too. The biggest difference is sleep patterns. If you know me in any depth you probably know, given any opportunity I spend most of the time before midday in bed and you’ll be hard pressed to see me in bed asleep before midnight! Just look through the posting times on the blog (which covers over 2 years now) and you’ll see an embarrassing amount of them are posted between 3-4am! Suffice to say early starts are a hard pill to swallow.

Quite weirdly the income is my second problem. Having never earnt more than beer money in my life, it’s a major difference to be able to buy Heinz beans without a major pang of guilt for not buying the cheap smartprice ones. I think it’s going to take more than a few months to get the student out of me. I actually caught myself using a little less washing powder than is probably necessary because back in student days that would have been an extra wash. I’m hoping I can find a good balance between value and a better standard of living. I might even consider dumping Primark as the ‘only’ clothes store.

Talking of students…..my shrimp of a brother has started uni at Sheffield. I’m very pleased and I think it was a great relief off my parent’s backs when he got in. He’s doing a masters in mechanical engineering which is a little mental considering he isn’t exactly the studious type, but I have a little faith left in him yet. Its weird thinking of your brother starting uni when your already paying off the debt you amassed when you were there. I feel obliged to tell him all the mistakes he’ll make and what he should and shouldn’t do but I think half of uni is finding those out yourself! I hope it goes well for him though. Not like you can afford to fail a year anymore. £3000 is a fucking joke. Uni’s will have to start actually providing value for money. I know for a fact I would be up in arms at Manchesters admin if I was paying that kind of money for the joke of a service they provide.

So yeah I’m off to the Southern pub to meet all the guys from the North, wearing my forest shirt, and bitch about all the poncy Southerners. Shame I haven’t really met one yet. I hope I don’t, I hate buying halves.

I hereby proclaim the South – ‘Mini North’ or simply ‘the place you go to make money to get back out again’.

Till next time,

Sam “Southern Fairy” Out

Posted by Sam December 2007

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